A Letter To American Idol Jonathan Jayne

January 25, 2007 |

Hi Jonathan,

Alan here from American Idol News. I just wanted to congratulate you and your friend Kenneth Briggs or Michael Swale or whatever his name is, on your new found success by incurring the wrath of Simon Cowell on American Idol.

It was pretty cruel the way Simon made fun of the size of your pants and the size of Kenneth’s eyes, but it looks like you guys are getting the last laugh. After all, you’ve been on Jimmy Kimmel Live, The Today Show, The BJ Shea Morning Experience on Seattle’s KISW-FM, went to a Nascar event, interviewed celebrities at the Bob Hope Classic golf tournament and I’m sure you have other appearances in the works since you two have agents now.

I just wanted to offer a bit of friendly advice on your MySpace page dude. You are famous now so you might want to update your page a bit and get rid of that strike through text and change the color scheme, it’s a bit hard on the eyes. I don’t know squat about MySpace, I’m probably the only one on this side of the Sun that doesn’t, or I’d help you out. I’m sure it’s pretty simple to get rid of that text or your agent could find someone to take care of that for your.

Anyway dude, way to go on showing Simon a thing or two. Maybe you and Kenneth could do a rap song about Simon and his wardrobe. With the money you earn from it you could buy Simon a shirt with a collar, just an idea.

Keep up the good work,

Alan LeStourgeon

Tags: jonathan jayne, kenneth briggs, myspace, simon cowell, jimmy kimmel live